Struktur konsep diri sebagaimana telah dikemukakan pada tulisan-tulisan yang lalu ada 3: aku diri, aku sosial dan aku ideal. Citra diri kita di mata orang lain itu yang disebut aku sosial.
Soal citra diri, yang ingin saya ketengahkan pada tulisan kali ini bukan dalam rangka menemukan perspektif orang lain tentang objektivitas diri kita tapi dalam kerangka mencari celah sifat atau karakter yang seharusnya kita perbaiki untuk menyempurnakan konsep diri kita.
Tulisan-tulisan sebelumnya soal membentuk konsep diri konsisten menggunakan instrumen bertanya untuk menemukan jawaban terhadap konsep diri kita maka, tulisan ini coba mengajukan pertanyaan-pertanyaan juga.
Yang pertama, apakah menurut anda orang-orang di sekitar dapat memahami kondisi anda dan menerima anda apa adanya? Pertanyaan ini ditujukan untuk menjawab hal mendasar dalam hidup kita yaitu apakah relasi kita berjalan baik dengan orang lain (sebagai keluarga, pertemanan, organisasi maupun bisnis) atau tidak.
Jika selama ini relasi anda berjalan tidak baik, mungkin anda dapat menganalisa kenapa hal tersebut bisa terjadi dan bagaimana seharusnya.
Kedua, apakah ada hal-hal tertentu dalam diri anda yang tidak disenangi orang-orang di sekitar anda? Mengapa menurut anda mereka tidak menyenanginya? Apakah menurut anda alasan mereka dapat diterima? Mengapa?
Pertanyaan kedua ini secara khusus ingin mengevaluasi interaksi kita dengan orang lain. Adakah karakter atau sifat kita yang tidak disenangi oleh orang lain. Bisa jadi itu yang menghambat kita dalam mewujudkan apa yang kita inginkan di masa depan.
Yang ketiga soal citra diri, apakah posisi anda saat ini (di kantor atau di organisasi) sudah sesuai dengan kompetensi inti anda? Jika tidak, mengapa menurut anda itu bisa terjadi?
Ini penting kita jawab untuk menemukan benang merah antara apa yang kita inginkan sebagai sesuatu yang ideal dengan citra diri kita di mata orang lain.
Sekarang soal cita-cita masa depan, target-target tertentu, dan keinginan-keinginan lainnya. Bisakah anda menyebutkan sepuluh kondisi yang anda inginkan bagi diri anda lima tahun mendatang? Mengapa anda menginginkan kondisi tersebut bagi diri anda? Apakah kondisi anda saat ini memungkinkan anda mencapainya?
Tiga pertanyaan di atas yang harus selalu kita ajukan pada diri kita setiap kali ada keinginan di masa depan yang kita canangkan. Pertama, soal keinginan itu sendiri seperti bentuk konkretnya. Kedua, soal tujuannya. Dan ketiga, soal prasyaratnya pada diri kita.
Semakin jelas ketiga hal tersebut kita jawab dengan terang semakin mudah kita mencapai apa yang kita inginkan, insyaAllah. []
Agung Wahyudi, Direktur Lentera Institut dan Penulis tema-tema pengembangan diri muslim.
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