Konsep diri itu biasanya terbentuk dari proses pertemuan tigal hal: antara persepsi kita tentang diri kita, persepsi orang lain tentang kita dan keinginan yang kita inginkan untuk diri kita.
Persepsi kita tentang diri sendiri adalah pandangan subjektif kita tentang objektivitas diri kita. Yang kedua adalah pandangan subjektif orang lain tentang objektivitas diri kita. Dan yang ketiga adalah tentang visi kita atau apa yang kita inginkan di masa depan.
Ketiga unsur inilah yang membentuk kesadaran kita tentang diri, lingkungan dan misi hidup kita kedepan. Ketiganya harus dibangun secara proporsional (seimbang) karena jika tidak maka itulah yang menyebabkan terjadi kepribadian yang tidak utuh (split personality).
Misalnya “aku diri” kita terlalu kuat maka biasanya kita punya kepercayaan diri namun cenderung angkuh, realistis yang cenderung pragmatis. Selain itu biasanya juga tertutup dengan orang lain dan cenderung tidak bisa bekerja sama dengan orang lain.
Jika “aku sosial” terlalu kuat maka biasanya kita kehilangan jati diri, tergantung dengan lingkungan, minderan, tidak mampu mandiri, dikendalikan orang lain, bisa bekerja sama tapi tidak memiliki pengaruh.
Jika “aku ideal” yang terlalu kuat maka biasanya kita menjadi pemimpi tapi tidak realistis, semangat namun tidak berdaya, retoris tapi tidak punya aksi riil, optimis tapi tidak produktif, bisa bekerja sama tapi tidak punya kontribusi yang jelas.
Jadi, ketiga hal ini hendaknya seimbang dan proporsional dalam diri kita agar yang terbentuk adalah manusia muslim yang ideal. Manusia muslim yang nilai Islamnya mengakar namun keunikan dan kekhasan pribadi tetap terakomodir. []
Agung Wahyudi, Direktur Lentera Institut dan Penulis tema-tema pengembangan diri muslim.
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